Rusty Spell: Mailbox

Box 6779
written by Rusty Spell

(Yeah... All right.) Rusty Spell was born 1975. Since then he's been the coolest person alive. He's coming out today to make an album for you. I'm sure you'll really like it, 'cause I know it's really cool.

(All right.) Rusty is in 'nikcuS, likes the Rheos, likes REM. Writes his stories in the Binders: He's got a lot of them. Reads books for English that he studies at USM. He's gonna be poor, so better not mess with him.

Where do you get your letters? I get mine in a mailbox, unless it's email. And when I do, I write right back. So I end up writing a lot of letters. And I'm singing through a mailbox right now. I'm inside of one: U.S. Postal mailbox. You don't believe me? Probably shouldn't. But I think the U.S. Mail Service is the last piece of magic on the planet. Unless you count micacles. And I'm told they happen every day. And I believe that. 'Cause it's a miracle that I'm able to sing about a mailbox and get away with it. It's only right, though, to me... it's only logical. It's only right.

Whales and Oceans, Snoopy and Snoofy. Science Projects all about Graphology. Anna Nicole Smith, Lori, and Melanie. Ava Russell Spell, Winnie-the-Pooh-ee. Twin Peaks--Fire Walk With Me. I think I'll go and plant a Christmas tree...

Rusty Spell is lying on his waterbed of blue. He'strying to write on WordPerfect, too. Rusty Spell is reading Melville's Moby-Dick. Rusty Spell is trying to end this song.

Berky
written by Rusty Spell

She wrote... "Humphrey, Hey! I was so bored, so I thought I would write to you. I'm gonna get you a Christmas present from North Carolina." She wrote... "My dad will prolly buy it, 'cause I'm totally broke. What do you want? As long as it's not over 75 cents."

That was her first letter to me: '88. Went on about Church and 94 TYX, Mickey Mouse phones and questions. Berky's first letter to me: Christmas, Mouse, Church, Music, and Money... and North Carolina.

"Don't forget Humphrey Huggabear, Roachhead, and Chandra's African Mating Dance." I'll never forget. "`Stand,' Berkfart, Spellola, `Eternal Flame,' Morton Downey (known as Uncle Mort). And Billy Bob Bodine. Kevin's Goat." I'll never forget. "Richard's Stupidity. That awesome drumline, the sucky woodwinds with a negative three. Don't forget you and Chris's rap, Kevin's great jokes, quotation marks, Tupelo, and me... Hiney Hole. And me... Hiney Hole."

"Don't ever forget." I'll never forget. I'll never forget BERKY!

Steele Life
Instrumental

She
written by Rusty Spell

Artoo was my first. Vadar was the second. Tony got the Hroth. I got the Degabah system. Now we're all grown up, and our loves have changed a little. This song's about the girl who turned my heart completely.

She's the one who took me for a drive to the Coast. She's the one who kinda got along with my folks. She's the one who knew what the funnest stuff was free. And she's the one who really fell for me.

Dale Cooper, David Lynch. George Bailey, Frank Capra. Watched 'em all the time. No, never did I miss 'em. But now I found a girl who liked all that then some more things. This is the very girl who came right out to meet me. (Yeah.)

She's the one who danced with me on islands in the wind. She's the one who cared that I was worried 'bout my sins. She's the one who knew that all the funnest stuff was free. (Yeah.) She's the one who really fell for me. (Yeah.)

Yes, she's the one who hid in sleeping bags in the park. She's the one whose beauty even shined in the dark. She's the one who knew that all the funnest stuff was free. (Kick it.) What was she? She was the one who really fell for me. (Yeah.)

Blue
written by Rusty Spell

Blue is my favorite color. It's the color of the water. It's the color of my eyes. It's the color of the sky. It's the color of the water...

Windows 95 Rejection
written by R.E.M.

That's great. It starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane. Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn. World serves its own needs; don't misserve your own needs. Feed it up a knock, speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height, down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population, common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs; listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right... right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Six o'clock: TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn. Return. Listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning, blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle, light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh, this means no fear. Cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline.

The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite...

Leonard Bernstein!

Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs. Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean. Boom! You symbiotic, patriotic, slam, but neck, right? Right.

(Might I have some time alone?)

Twinkle
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

It's me! And I'm comin' to take over your little song. You want excitement? We're gonna sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" back in the Old School way... One, two, three...

Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a catfish in the sky, yeah. Twinkle, twinkle little star.

All right! You in the kid's neighborhood? We in the hood, not the kid's neighborhood. We havin' fun. We know what we doin'. We gonna break it down right now. One, twinkle star...

Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a teacup in the sky, yeah.

All right! We here in the middle of the day. And the Face Man. Yeah. Y'all don't know what you doin'? We don't know what we doin' either. Yeah, boy... All right. A-Twinkle little star. Let's go, twinkle. One more time!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a puuuu in the sky.

Hey, little kitty cat. What's your name, little kitty cat? I love the pussy cat!

Rich Man's Fantasy
Instrumental

No Way of Knowing
written by Rusty Spell

When I saw you for the first time and you took me in your hand, I simply went along. I simply went along. When I saw you for the next time, and you took me in your arms, I simply went along with you.

When you met me at the table, and you asked me if I'd dance, I simply went along. I simply went along. When you met me on the sidewalk, and you left your friends for me, I simply went along with you.

But... There's no way of knowing what you said was true. There's no way to know; should I believe in you? There's no way of knowing if my life will start. There's no way of knowing your heart.

When you told me that you loved me, that you'd never leave my side, I simply went along. I simply went along. When you told me that you loved me, and I said the same to you, I simply went along with you.

Little Girl
written by Rusty Spell

(One, two, three, four...) I never once said that I loved you. I never once said I even liked you. I never once said I wanted to be with you (never did I, naw).

You always asked why I loved you. You always asked why I liked you. But I never once said I wanted to be with you (uh, huh).

I never liked little stupid girls like you. I always thought I was way too good for you. I need need something better than a dumb little girl like you. Get off my back, before I really hurt you, hurt you.

You run after me like I want to be with you. You chase after me, but you know that I hate you. And here is the truth, what I really think of you: A dumb little girl... that's all I think of you (yeah).

Number 14
Instrumental

Reprise
written by Rusty Spell

Rusty Spell is alive 1995. He is gonna end this album now. He wants to say a few things and sing a little more. He doesn't want to sing any songs about a cow.

Hi, my name is Rusty Spell. You might know me from the billion things I mentioned on this album. Or from the billion other things I didn't mention on this album. At any rate, I just want you to know I had a lot of fun doing this, even though it was a lot of work. I just feel so alone! No, I'm jokin', nevermind. Don't worry about me. I'm just going nuts again. No, I'm jokin' again, you know what I say: "I'm the most normal person I know." All right.

Rusty wrote a letter... Rusty mailed a letter... Rusty got a letter in his mailbox. (Bye, Bye.)